is harder to win
The phrase "harder to win" suggests a challenge or difficulty in restoring a relationship. The Hebrew root "נָשָׂא" (nasa) can mean to lift, carry, or bear, indicating the burden of mending a broken relationship. In biblical times, reconciliation required effort, humility, and often a mediator. This phrase underscores the value of perseverance and patience in healing relational wounds, reflecting the Christian call to love and forgiveness.

than a fortified city
Fortified cities in ancient times were symbols of strength, security, and defense. They were built with thick walls and guarded gates to protect against enemies. The comparison here illustrates the formidable nature of an offended person’s defenses. Just as a fortified city is difficult to penetrate, so is the heart of someone who has been deeply hurt. This metaphor serves as a caution to be mindful of our words and actions, as they can create barriers that are challenging to overcome.

and disputes
The Hebrew word "מִדְיָן" (midyan) refers to strife or contention. Disputes can arise from misunderstandings, pride, or selfishness, and they can escalate quickly if not addressed. In the biblical context, disputes were often settled by elders or judges to maintain peace within the community. This highlights the importance of seeking resolution and the biblical principle of living peaceably with others, as emphasized in Romans 12:18.

are like the bars of a castle
The imagery of "bars" suggests imprisonment or entrapment. In ancient architecture, bars were used to secure gates and windows, providing protection but also creating a barrier. This metaphor indicates that unresolved disputes can imprison relationships, preventing growth and freedom. The "castle" symbolizes a place of refuge and strength, yet when disputes act as bars, they turn it into a place of isolation. This serves as a powerful reminder of the need for reconciliation and the breaking down of barriers through Christ-like love and forgiveness.

Their contentions.--Of such as have once been friends, "are like the bars of a castle," or palace, forming an almost impassable barrier to reconciliation. The bitterness of quarrels between friends is proverbial.

Δεινὸν κασιγήτοισι γίγνεσθαι λόγους
Μάχας θ ὅταν ποτ ἐμπέσωσιν εἰς ἔριν. Aristotle also writes thus ('De Republ.,' 7:7): "If men receive no return from those to whom they have shown kindness, they deem themselves, not only defrauded of due gratitude, but actually injured. Whence it is said, 'Bitter are the quarrels of friends;' and, 'Those who love beyond measure also hate beyond measure.'" An English maxim gloomily decides, "Friendship once injured is forever lost." Pliny ('Hist. Nat.,' 37:4), "Ut adamas, si frangi contingat malleis, in minutissimas dissidit crustas, adeo ut vix oculis cerni queant: ita arctissima necessitudo, si quando contingat dirimi, in summam vertitur simultatem, et ex arctissimis foederibus, si semel rumpantur, maxima nascuntur dissidia." Ecclus. 6:9, "There is a friend, who being turned to enmity will also discover thy disgraceful strife," i.e. will disclose the quarrel which according to his representation will redound to thy discredit. The Vulgate and Septuagint have followed a different reading from that of the present Hebrew text: "Brother aided by brother is like a strong and high city, and he is powerful as a well founded palace," Septuagint. The last clause is rendered in the Vulgate. Et judicia quasi vectes urbium; where judicia means "lawsuits," legal disputes; these bar out friendship. The first member of the sentence in the Greek and Latin recalls Ecclesiastes 4:9, etc., "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour," etc. St. Chrysostom, commenting on Ephesians 4:3 ('Hom.,' 9.), writes, "A glorious bond is this; with this bond let us bind ourselves together alike to one another and to God. This is a bond that bruises not, nor cramps the hands it binds, but it leaves them free, and gives them ample play and greater energy than those which are at liberty. The strong, if he be bound to the weak, will support him, and not suffer him to perish; and if again he be tied to the indolent, he will rather rouse and animate. 'Brother helped by brother,' it is said, 'is as a strong city.' This chain no distance of place can interrupt, neither heaven, nor earth, nor death, nor anything else, but it is more powerful and stronger than all things."

Parallel Commentaries ...