Why did Jesus say to hate our parents?

I. Understanding the Statement “Hate Our Parents”

Jesus’ words, recorded in Luke 14:26, read: “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be My disciple.” At first glance, the terminology seems harsh and out of alignment with other scriptural teachings about honoring and loving family. However, when read within the broader context of Scripture, it becomes evident that the term “hate” here is an expression describing the prioritization of devotion and loyalty to Christ above every other relationship.

II. The Context of Luke 14:26

In Luke 14, Jesus is describing the cost of discipleship. Many people followed Him because they witnessed miracles and heard life-transforming teachings. Yet Jesus wanted His followers to understand that allegiance to Him is not a casual commitment.

1. Immediate Context (Luke 14:25–33)

• Large crowds accompanied Jesus, and He used stark language to convey that following Him demands complete dedication.

• The statement regarding “hating” father and mother occurs in the broader discussion about counting the cost. Jesus employs strong language to emphasize that no relationship should come above one’s fidelity to Him.

2. Cultural Context

• In ancient Near Eastern cultures, expressions of “love” and “hate” could function idiomatically. “Hate” often signified “to love less” rather than to harbor hostility (cf. Genesis 29:30–31, where Jacob “loved Rachel more than Leah”).

• Consequently, Jesus is underscoring the requirement for supreme loyalty. His words challenge hearers to consider whether they truly place Him first in every aspect of life.

III. Comparing Scriptural Commands to Honor Parents

Scripture elsewhere commands believers to honor and love their parents (cf. Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and your mother…”; Ephesians 6:2: “Honor your father and mother…”). Therefore, it is clear that the “hate” in Luke 14:26 does not contradict this teaching. Instead:

1. Biblical Harmony

• Because the Bible does not contradict itself, the command to “hate” parents cannot mean to despise or to violate the honor due to them.

• Jesus consistently upheld the command to honor family (Mark 7:9–13). Yet, He also insisted that God deserves ultimate loyalty (Matthew 10:37: “Anyone who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me…”).

2. Hyperbolic Emphasis

• Jewish teachers in the first century frequently used hyperbole to drive home a point. Such strong language often highlighted how seriously a teacher viewed a certain matter.

• Jesus’ radical phrasing underlines the absolute commitment that being His disciple entails. One’s fervent love for God should be so profound that all other attachments appear secondary by comparison.

IV. The Priority of Allegiance to Christ

Jesus’ teaching in Luke 14 addresses discipleship and underscores that:

1. Nothing Should Rival Devotion to God

• The command is not to neglect or abuse one’s parents but to guard against allowing any earthly bond to overshadow devotion to Christ.

• The focus is on wholeheartedly following Jesus, with family relationships still important but clearly subordinate to God’s kingdom purposes.

2. Discipleship May Involve Difficult Choices

• Choosing Christ sometimes causes tension when family members oppose or do not share one’s faith (Matthew 10:34–36).

• In such situations, believers may appear to “hate” family from the family’s viewpoint, yet the underlying reality is that discipleship loyalty overrides every other claim on one’s life.

V. Practical Implications for Believers Today

1. A Call to Examine Loyalties

• Followers of Christ ought to reflect on whether any relationship, pursuit, or personal desire supersedes their devotion to Him.

• Maintaining the proper order reveals that genuine love for family is enriched by a right relationship with God.

2. Honoring Parents Within This Framework

• The biblical model does not discard the command to care for and respect parents (Proverbs 23:22, 1 Timothy 5:4).

• True disciples still fulfill their duties of kindness and honor but do so without compromising their allegiance to Christ.

3. Balancing Love for Family With Love for God

• Loving and honoring parents often become more meaningful when Christ is given first place, as He transforms believers to love more selflessly.

• When younger disciples face contradiction or pressure from family networks to abandon their faith, Christ’s teaching in Luke 14 remains a firm reminder that ultimate loyalty belongs to Him who is Lord above all.

VI. Conclusion

Jesus’ statement to “hate” one’s parents is a bold figure of speech used to stress that true discipleship demands supreme allegiance to Him. It reflects a standard Hebrew idiom that contrasts strong preference over weaker loyalty. Within the entire biblical witness, it neither cancels the commandment to honor our parents nor advocates literal animosity. Instead, it calls believers to ensure that no earthly tie—no matter how dear—displaces Christ from His rightful place as Lord and Master.

As such, Jesus’ words magnify the cost of genuine discipleship: to love God above all else and to orient every other love under that primary devotion. This teaching reminds readers that, by making Christ the chief priority, all other relationships and responsibilities take on their fullest meaning and purpose in alignment with God’s design.