2 Samuel 14:2

So Joab sent to Tekoa to bring a wise woman from there. He told her, "Please pretend to be a mourner; put on clothes for mourning and do not anoint yourself with oil. Act like a woman who has mourned for the dead a long time.

Study Bible

So Joab sent to Tekoa to bring a wise woman from there.
Joab, the commander of King David's army, is a key figure in the narrative of 2 Samuel. His decision to send for a wise woman from Tekoa reflects his strategic thinking and understanding of human nature. Tekoa was a town located about 10 miles south of Jerusalem, known for its wisdom and possibly its prophetic tradition, as the prophet Amos also hailed from there (Amos 1:1). The term "wise woman" suggests someone with insight, discernment, and possibly experience in matters of justice or mediation, which were highly valued in ancient Israelite society. This action by Joab indicates his intention to use wisdom and cunning to influence King David's decision regarding Absalom, David's estranged son.

He told her, “Please pretend to be a mourner;
Joab instructs the woman to take on the role of a mourner, which in ancient Israelite culture involved specific behaviors and appearances. Mourning was a significant cultural practice, often involving public displays of grief, such as wearing sackcloth, putting ashes on one's head, and wailing. By asking her to pretend, Joab is orchestrating a scenario to evoke a particular emotional response from David, highlighting Joab's understanding of the king's compassionate nature. This act of pretending also foreshadows the parables and stories used by prophets like Nathan (2 Samuel 12:1-7) to convey deeper truths or prompt self-reflection.

put on clothes for mourning and do not anoint yourself with oil.
The instruction to wear mourning clothes and refrain from anointing with oil is significant. Mourning clothes were typically rough garments, such as sackcloth, symbolizing distress and humility. Anointing with oil was a common practice for personal grooming and refreshment, often associated with joy and celebration (Psalm 23:5, Ecclesiastes 9:8). By avoiding oil, the woman would present herself as someone in deep, prolonged grief, enhancing the authenticity of her role. This detail underscores the cultural importance of external appearances in conveying one's internal state and the lengths to which Joab is willing to go to achieve his aims.

Act like a woman who has mourned for the dead a long time.
This phrase emphasizes the depth and duration of the mourning the woman is to portray. In the ancient Near East, prolonged mourning was not uncommon, especially for significant losses. The portrayal of extended grief would likely elicit sympathy and attention, making the woman's story more compelling to David. This tactic of using a prolonged mourning scenario is reminiscent of other biblical narratives where individuals use storytelling or role-playing to reveal truths or influence decisions, such as the prophet Nathan's confrontation with David over his sin with Bathsheba. The use of a wise woman in this context also subtly points to the role of women in biblical narratives as conveyors of wisdom and truth, often in unexpected ways.

Persons / Places / Events

1. Joab
The commander of King David's army, known for his strategic mind and sometimes ruthless actions. He plays a pivotal role in the reconciliation between David and his son Absalom.

2. Tekoa
A town in Judah, known for its wise inhabitants. It is the hometown of the prophet Amos and is located about 10 miles south of Jerusalem.

3. Wise Woman
An unnamed woman from Tekoa, chosen by Joab for her wisdom and ability to convincingly portray a mourner. Her role is crucial in delivering Joab's message to King David.

4. Mourning
The act of expressing grief, often through specific attire and behavior. In this context, it is used as a ruse to gain King David's attention and sympathy.

5. Absalom
Although not directly mentioned in this verse, he is the underlying reason for Joab's actions. Absalom is David's son, estranged from his father after killing his brother Amnon.

Teaching Points

The Role of Wisdom in Conflict Resolution
The wise woman of Tekoa demonstrates how wisdom can be used to navigate complex situations and bring about reconciliation. In our lives, seeking wise counsel can help resolve conflicts and restore relationships.

The Power of Persuasion and Influence
Joab's use of the woman's persuasive abilities shows the impact of influence. As Christians, we should be mindful of how we use our influence and ensure it aligns with godly principles.

The Ethics of Deception
This passage raises questions about the morality of using deception for a perceived good. It challenges us to consider the ethical implications of our actions and to seek truthfulness in our dealings.

The Importance of Reconciliation
Joab's actions, though deceptive, aim to reconcile David and Absalom. This underscores the biblical principle of reconciliation and the lengths we might go to restore broken relationships.

Bible Study Questions

1. How does the role of the wise woman from Tekoa illustrate the importance of wisdom in addressing difficult situations? Can you think of a time when seeking wise counsel helped you?

2. In what ways does Joab's strategy reflect both positive and negative aspects of influence? How can we ensure our influence is used for good?

3. Considering the ethical dilemma presented in this passage, how do you discern when it is appropriate to use unconventional methods to achieve a goal?

4. How does the theme of reconciliation in this passage connect with Jesus' teachings on forgiveness and restoration in the New Testament?

5. Reflect on a relationship in your life that may need reconciliation. What steps can you take, inspired by this passage, to begin that process?

Connections to Other Scriptures

Genesis 37
The account of Joseph's brothers deceiving their father Jacob with Joseph's coat. This connection highlights the theme of deception used to convey a message or evoke a response.

Proverbs 14:1
Discusses the wisdom of women, which can be related to the wise woman of Tekoa and her role in influencing King David.

Matthew 5:4
Jesus speaks about those who mourn being comforted, which can be contrasted with the feigned mourning in this passage.