What does the Bible say about holding grudges?

Definition and Scope of Grudges

A grudge typically involves lingering resentment or anger toward someone who has caused offense or harm. In Scripture, this attitude stands in contrast to the love, forgiveness, and reconciliation God requires. The Berean Standard Bible often pairs commands against holding grudges with positive calls to love and unity. Throughout both Old and New Testaments, refusing to let go of bitterness is condemned as destructive to relationships and personal spiritual well-being.

Holding a grudge can manifest in various ways: silent bitterness, active hostility, or subtle resentment. Yet in every instance, Scripture’s consistent invitation is to turn away from such hostility and embrace forgiveness.

Clear Prohibition Against Holding Grudges

Leviticus 19:18 expressly commands, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against any of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” This verse underlines two fundamental principles: (1) the prohibition against harboring resentment, and (2) the positive counsel to show love. These ideas reinforce each other, showing that the mere avoidance of vengeance is incomplete without genuine concern for the well-being of others.

This command appears in one of the earliest parts of Scripture. Ancient manuscript evidence—such as fragments of Leviticus found among the Dead Sea Scrolls—supports that this directive has remained intact and consistent over the centuries. Scholars point to the remarkable uniformity among Hebrew manuscripts and variants that confirm the centrality of forgiveness, further demonstrating the Bible’s reliability in preserving this prohibition.

Examples of Forgiveness Over Grudges

1. Joseph and His Brothers (Genesis 50:15–21)

Joseph’s reaction to the betrayal by his brothers stands as a prominent example of rejecting bitterness. Rather than hold a grudge, Joseph offers forgiveness, saying in Genesis 50:19–20, “Do not be afraid. Am I in the place of God? As for you, what you intended against me for evil, God intended for good.” This narrative reveals how faith in God’s sovereign oversight empowers one to relinquish personal vendettas.

2. David and Saul (1 Samuel 24:9–19)

Saul pursued David out of jealousy, yet David mercifully spared Saul’s life when given the opportunity. Instead of nursing hatred, David insisted, “May the LORD judge between you and me” (1 Samuel 24:12). David’s willingness to let God arbitrate underscores a foundational principle: trust in God’s justice, rather than clinging to resentment.

3. Stephen’s Martyrdom (Acts 7:59–60)

As Stephen was being stoned, he pleaded, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60). Even in the face of death, Stephen’s response exemplifies Christlike forgiveness, mirroring Jesus’ own words from the cross. This passage underscores that genuine forgiveness can triumph in extreme circumstances.

New Testament Teachings on Grudges and Forgiveness

Jesus repeatedly calls believers to forgo grudges and practice relentless forgiveness, culminating in the admonition in Mark 11:25: “And when you stand to pray, if you hold anything against another, forgive it, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your trespasses.” The direct link between forgiving others and receiving divine forgiveness emphasizes the necessity of releasing resentment.

Likewise, Matthew 6:14–15 declares, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.” These words highlight the detrimental spiritual consequences of clinging to a grudge.

The Apostle Paul’s writings echo this theme. In Ephesians 4:31–32, readers are admonished, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, outcry, and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” Paul connects believers’ call to forgive directly with Christ’s sacrificial act on the cross and His resurrection, showing that the power for forgiveness originates in divine grace.

Consequences of Holding Grudges

1. Spiritual Hindrance

From a biblical viewpoint, grudges hinder prayer (Mark 11:25) and impede one’s relationship with God. By refusing to release anger, an individual’s heart remains closed to the Spirit’s sanctifying work.

2. Harms Relationships and Community

Grudges fracture fellowship within families and churches. The earliest Christian communities taught mutual forgiveness as the bedrock of unity (Colossians 3:13).

3. Emotional and Psychological Burden

Resentment often grows when nourished, leading to anger and bitterness that weigh heavily on a person’s emotional well-being. Behavioral science studies correlate forgiveness with better mental and emotional health, consistent with the scriptural wisdom that freedom from bitterness fosters joy and peace.

Theological and Historical Foundations

Archaeological discoveries and manuscript evidence, such as the extensive papyri finds that include New Testament writings, reinforce the consistent emphasis on forgiveness and love from the earliest Christian texts. Scholars analyzing fragmentary evidence—from ancient manuscripts like Papyrus 66 or Codex Sinaiticus—find that Jesus’ and the apostles’ teachings on releasing offenses remain cohesive across centuries and translations.

In the broader context of Scripture defending itself as God’s Word, historical and geological research—frequently cited in discussions of biblical reliability—testifies to a Creator intimately involved in life’s details. This same Creator reveals His character as merciful and gracious, thus urging people to reflect His posture by letting go of grudges. The resurrection of Christ testifies to ultimate victory over sin, including the sin of bitterness, and provides the power believers need to forgive.

Practical Steps and Application

1. Prayerful Reflection

Begin by asking God to reveal any hidden resentment. Mark 11:25 shows that prayer is a key moment to identify and release grudges.

2. Seek Reconciliation

Wherever possible, strive to repair broken relationships (Romans 12:18). Communication and humility pave the way for healing, though reconciliation, as Scripture indicates, may also depend on the other person’s willingness.

3. Embrace Love as the Alternative

Replace bitterness with active expressions of kindness (Ephesians 4:32). Serving or praying for those who have caused harm helps soften hearts on both sides.

4. Recalling God’s Forgiveness

Meditate on Christ’s redemptive work. Recognizing the extent of God’s mercy encourages believers to show that same mercy to others (Colossians 3:13). This act of remembering serves as a powerful antidote to bearing grudges.

Summary of Biblical Teaching

Scripture unequivocally teaches that grudges must be abandoned. Love for God and other people compels believers to reject lingering bitterness. Through examples in both the Old and New Testaments, believers learn the importance of entrusting judgment to God, taking the initiative to forgive, and seeking reconciliation whenever possible.

In line with God’s design for relationships, refusing to harbor resentment fosters spiritual growth, promotes unity, and reflects the character of the risen Christ. Such forgiveness is central to living out the gospel message, which rests firmly on the historical reality of the resurrection and the reliability of the Bible’s texts. By embracing Scripture’s clear teaching to let go of grudges, believers testify to the transformative power of God’s grace and fulfill the call to live in genuine fellowship with one another.