2 Samuel 13:20

Her brother Absalom said to her, "Has your brother Amnon been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister. He is your brother. Do not take this thing to heart." So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in the house of her brother Absalom.

Study Bible

Her brother Absalom said to her,
Absalom, the third son of King David, is introduced here as a protective figure for his sister Tamar. This familial relationship is significant, as it sets the stage for the ensuing conflict within David's household. Absalom's role as a brother is crucial, as it highlights the familial duty and honor that were highly valued in ancient Israelite culture.

“Has your brother Amnon been with you?
Amnon, the firstborn son of David, is implicated in a grievous sin against Tamar. The question posed by Absalom suggests an awareness of Amnon's actions, reflecting the lack of privacy and the close-knit nature of royal family life. This inquiry also underscores the gravity of Amnon's offense, as it was not only a personal violation but also a breach of familial and societal norms.

Be quiet for now, my sister.
Absalom's advice to Tamar to remain silent can be seen as a protective measure, possibly to prevent further shame or scandal. In the cultural context of ancient Israel, a woman's honor was closely tied to her family's reputation, and public knowledge of such an incident could have severe repercussions. This counsel reflects the complex dynamics of honor and shame in the biblical world.

He is your brother.
This phrase emphasizes the familial bond and the expectation of loyalty and protection within the family unit. It also highlights the tragic irony of the situation, as the perpetrator of the crime is a close relative, which would have compounded the emotional and social turmoil for Tamar.

Do not take this thing to heart.”
Absalom's attempt to console Tamar may reflect a desire to mitigate her distress, though it also underscores the limitations of his ability to provide justice or healing. This phrase can be seen as an acknowledgment of the deep emotional impact of the event, while also suggesting a need to maintain composure in the face of adversity.

So Tamar lived as a desolate woman
The term "desolate" indicates Tamar's profound sense of loss and isolation following the incident. In the ancient Near Eastern context, a woman's prospects for marriage and social standing were severely diminished by such an event, leaving her in a state of vulnerability and marginalization. This reflects the harsh realities faced by women in biblical times.

in the house of her brother Absalom.
Tamar's residence with Absalom signifies his role as her protector and provider in the absence of a husband. This arrangement also foreshadows Absalom's eventual rebellion against David, as the unresolved injustice against Tamar becomes a catalyst for further familial strife. The narrative highlights the long-term consequences of sin and the breakdown of family relationships within the royal household.

Persons / Places / Events

1. Absalom
The son of King David and brother to both Amnon and Tamar. He plays a significant role in comforting Tamar and later avenging her.

2. Tamar
The daughter of King David, who is violated by her half-brother Amnon. She is left desolate and lives in Absalom's house after the incident.

3. Amnon
The firstborn son of King David, who commits a grievous sin against his half-sister Tamar, leading to familial strife and his eventual death.

4. David's Household
The royal family of Israel, experiencing internal turmoil and moral failure, which has broader implications for the kingdom.

5. Desolation
The state in which Tamar finds herself, reflecting the deep personal and familial consequences of sin and injustice.

Teaching Points

The Consequences of Sin
Sin, especially within families, can lead to devastating consequences that affect not only the individuals directly involved but also the broader community.

The Importance of Justice
The lack of immediate justice for Tamar's situation highlights the need for righteous leadership and the pursuit of justice in our communities.

The Role of Silence and Speaking Out
Absalom's advice to Tamar to "be quiet" reflects a tension between silence and the need to speak out against injustice. Believers are called to discern when to speak and when to remain silent.

God's Comfort in Desolation
Even in times of desolation and despair, God offers comfort and hope. Believers can find solace in God's presence and promises.

Family Dynamics and Forgiveness
The account challenges us to consider the complexities of family relationships and the role of forgiveness and reconciliation in healing brokenness.

Bible Study Questions

1. How does the account of Tamar and Amnon reflect the broader theme of sin and its consequences in the Bible?

2. In what ways can we seek justice for those who have been wronged, as seen in the account of Tamar?

3. How can we balance the need for silence and speaking out in situations of injustice, as illustrated by Absalom's advice to Tamar?

4. What are some practical ways we can offer comfort to those who feel desolate, drawing from biblical principles?

5. How can the themes of forgiveness and reconciliation be applied in our own family dynamics, in light of the events in 2 Samuel 13?

Connections to Other Scriptures

Genesis 34
The account of Dinah, who also experiences violation and the subsequent actions of her brothers, provides a parallel to Tamar's account, highlighting themes of family honor and revenge.

Psalm 55:12-14
David's lament over betrayal by a close friend can be seen as reflective of the betrayal within his own family, as seen in the actions of Amnon and the subsequent fallout.

Matthew 5:4
Jesus' teaching on mourning and comfort can be applied to Tamar's situation, offering a perspective on divine comfort in times of deep personal grief.