Is withholding forgiveness supported by the Bible?

Definition and Overview

Withholding forgiveness involves choosing not to release another person from the moral or emotional debt created by an offense. Throughout the Bible, forgiveness appears as an essential act that reflects the character and will of God. While not every biblical passage directly addresses withholding forgiveness, the broader context of Scripture consistently points to the necessity, power, and virtue of forgiveness as modeled in divine grace and human relationships.

Biblical Mandate for Forgiveness

In the Gospel accounts, one finds explicit instructions to practice forgiveness. When Peter inquires about the proper number of times to forgive, Jesus responds:

“Jesus said to him, ‘I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!’” (Matthew 18:22).

This teaching implies that withholding forgiveness contradicts the call to forgive repeatedly and abundantly. Further on in the same chapter, the parable of the unforgiving servant demonstrates divine disapproval of those who refuse to extend mercy (Matthew 18:23–35).

Similarly, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus stresses:

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.” (Matthew 6:14–15).

This connection underscores the gravity of forgiveness in God's redemptive plan, suggesting that the refusal to forgive obstructs one’s own fellowship with God.

Character and Nature of God

Throughout Scripture, divine forgiveness consistently arises from God’s character:

“The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in loving devotion.” (Psalm 103:8).

Because humans are called to reflect God’s holiness and compassion, they are similarly commanded to act with mercy. Multiple biblical passages resonate with this theme, identifying God as “merciful and gracious” and thus establishing the model for believers. The concept of withholding forgiveness conflicts with this revealed identity of God.

New Testament Emphasis on Forgiveness

Jesus repeatedly taught about reconciliation and the necessity of harboring neither resentment nor grudges. A central text appears in Mark 11:25:

“And when you stand to pray, if you hold anything against another, forgive it, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive your trespasses.”

Here, Jesus underscores that the posture of prayer includes a readiness to pardon others. The end goal is restored relationship—both with God and within the community of believers. Scripture does not give license to hold onto bitterness, which it frames as a destructive force (Ephesians 4:31–32).

Pauline Teachings on Forgiveness

Apostle Paul echoes Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness with instructions that focus on unity and harmony within the early church communities. In Colossians 3:13, Paul exhorts:

“Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Once again, the forgiveness granted by God sets a binding precedent for how believers should relate to one another. Though there is acknowledgment of genuine hurts, Paul consistently urges believers to imitate God in extending grace rather than withholding it.

Consequences of Withholding Forgiveness

Withholding forgiveness may foster spiritual, emotional, and communal harm:

1. Spiritual Harm: The parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:23–35) depicts a servant forgiven by the king yet unwilling to forgive a minor debt. This leads to severe consequences once the king discovers the servant’s lack of mercy. The moral lesson is clear: an unforgiving stance places an individual at odds with God’s merciful nature.

2. Emotional Harm: Resentment and bitterness can perpetuate anger, frustration, and relational distance. Behavioral studies have documented the negative effects of prolonged animosity on mental and even physical well-being, corroborating biblical wisdom that calls for release of debts to foster peace (Proverbs 14:30).

3. Communal Harm: Throughout Scripture, unity within the faith community remains paramount. Hebrews 12:14–15 admonishes believers to “make every effort to live in peace with everyone,” lest bitterness spread and defile many. Withholding forgiveness can cause discord, undermining testimony and fellowship.

Biblical Context: Addressing the Concerns

1. Sense of Justice: Some wrestle with a sense of justice, fearing that forgiveness implies ignoring offense. However, Scripture does not equate forgiveness with the denial of wrongdoing. In fact, forgiveness acknowledges the pain and cost of sin, yet chooses to release the offender from the debt. God Himself models atonement, offering forgiveness by removing the penalty of sin through Christ’s sacrificial death and resurrection.

2. Unrepentant Offenders: While Scripture upholds justice and personal accountability, it still consistently calls for a heart ready to forgive. Stephen’s example in Acts 7:60 captures the spirit of Christ when he prays for those who stoned him, reflecting willingness to forgive even under severe persecution.

3. Forgiveness as Reconciliation vs. Restoration: Sometimes confusion arises between forgiveness and restoration of relationship. Forgiveness can be granted regardless of an offender’s response, while reconciliation often involves mutual repentance and trust-building. Even so, believers are called to maintain a forgiving disposition.

Supporting Evidences for the Biblical Approach

1. Archaeological and Manuscript Consistency: Numerous manuscript discoveries—such as the Dead Sea Scrolls—support the textual fidelity of Old Testament books like Isaiah, which stress God’s compassion and desire to pardon (Isaiah 1:18). These manuscripts confirm that biblical teachings on mercy and forgiveness remain intact over centuries.

2. Historic Teachings of Jesus: Writings from early church history, such as the works of the first-century historian Josephus, reveal the influence of Jesus’ teachings on mercy. The unwavering consistency of biblical instruction on forgiveness further attests to the cohesive nature of Scripture.

3. Scientific and Behavioral Observations: Clinical and psychological studies often highlight the health benefits associated with forgiving others, from reduced stress to improved interpersonal relationships. These findings align with scriptural admonitions to release anger and foster unity.

Conclusion

The biblical witness, from the Old Testament teachings on God’s compassion to the explicit commands of Jesus and the letters of Paul, consistently underscores forgiveness rather than endorsing withholding it. Withholding forgiveness finds no support in scriptural teaching; rather, Scripture identifies it as detrimental to one’s spiritual health, emotional well-being, and community cohesion.

As seen in numerous passages, the believer’s example for forgiveness originates in the perfect love and mercy of God. Ultimately, the Bible affirms that forgiveness forms a crucial aspect of godly living and testifies to the transformative power of divine grace, leaving no room for sustained unforgiveness.