Proverbs 31:3

Do not spend your strength on women or your vigor on those who ruin kings.

Study Bible

Do not spend your strength on women
This phrase advises against the misuse of one's energy and resources on relationships that can lead to moral and spiritual downfall. In the biblical context, this warning is often associated with the dangers of engaging in relationships with women who may lead one away from God’s commandments. Solomon, the attributed author of Proverbs, had personal experience with this issue, as his many marriages to foreign women led him to idolatry (1 Kings 11:1-4). The phrase underscores the importance of maintaining purity and devotion to God, echoing the wisdom found in other scriptures such as Proverbs 5:3-5, which warns against the seductive nature of the adulteress.

or your vigor on those who ruin kings
This part of the verse highlights the potential for personal relationships to lead to the downfall of leaders. Historically, many kings in the Bible, such as David and Solomon, faced significant challenges due to their relationships with women. The phrase serves as a cautionary reminder of the destructive power of such entanglements. It also reflects the broader biblical theme of the importance of wise and godly leadership, as seen in Deuteronomy 17:17, where kings are advised not to take many wives, lest their hearts be led astray. The warning is prophetic in nature, as it anticipates the consequences of ignoring divine wisdom, and it points to the need for leaders to seek strength and guidance from God rather than from worldly pleasures.

Persons / Places / Events

1. King Lemuel
The author of Proverbs 31, traditionally understood to be a king receiving wisdom from his mother. The identity of Lemuel is not definitively known, but he is often seen as a symbolic figure representing any ruler or leader.

2. Women
In this context, refers to relationships that can lead a man away from his responsibilities and duties, particularly those that can be detrimental to a leader's strength and focus.

3. Kings
Represents leaders or those in positions of authority who are warned against being led astray by indulgence or distractions that can compromise their leadership.

Teaching Points

Guard Your Strength
Leaders must be vigilant in protecting their physical, emotional, and spiritual strength from being depleted by unwise relationships or pursuits.

Wisdom in Relationships
Choose relationships that build up and support your mission and calling, rather than those that distract or detract from it.

The Cost of Indulgence
Recognize the potential cost of indulgence in relationships that can lead to moral and spiritual decline, especially for those in leadership.

Focus on Godly Leadership
A leader's primary focus should be on fulfilling their God-given responsibilities, avoiding distractions that can lead to downfall.

Heeding Parental Wisdom
Value and consider the wisdom and guidance from parents or mentors, as King Lemuel did from his mother.

Bible Study Questions

1. How can the example of King Solomon's relationships inform our understanding of Proverbs 31:3?

2. In what ways can modern leaders apply the wisdom of Proverbs 31:3 to their personal and professional lives?

3. How does the account of Samson and Delilah illustrate the warning given in Proverbs 31:3?

4. What practical steps can you take to ensure your relationships are strengthening rather than weakening your spiritual and leadership journey?

5. How can the qualifications for overseers in 1 Timothy 3:2 serve as a guide for applying the principles of Proverbs 31:3 in your life?

Connections to Other Scriptures

1 Kings 11:1-4
The account of Solomon, whose many foreign wives led him astray from God, serves as a historical example of the warning in Proverbs 31:3.

Judges 16:4-21
The account of Samson and Delilah illustrates the dangers of being led astray by relationships that compromise one's strength and mission.

1 Timothy 3:2
This verse outlines the qualifications for overseers, emphasizing the importance of being above reproach and faithful, which aligns with the wisdom in Proverbs 31:3.