What does "Leave, Cleave, and Honor" mean? Introduction “Leave, cleave, and honor” is a descriptive phrase drawn from Scripture that encapsulates key principles of marriage and family relationships. It highlights the transition from one’s family of origin to the new bond formed in marriage and underscores the continuing requirement to respect parents. While it is most directly associated with Genesis 2:24 and related passages, the broader context of Scripture illuminates how believers are to live out these godly values. Biblical Foundation This concept is deeply rooted in the early pages of Scripture. Genesis 2:24 states, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Later New Testament authors reaffirm this foundational principle for marriage: • Ephesians 5:31: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” • Matthew 19:5: “and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’” Additionally, the biblical call to “honor” parents is woven throughout both Old and New Testaments, as seen in Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” Jesus likewise underscored the importance of this command (Matthew 15:4), showing that while one leaves parents to form a primary bond in marriage, a posture of respect remains toward them. Leaving Leaving refers to the necessary shift in priority and devotion once a couple enters into marriage. While practically it may involve a literal move away from a parental home, more fundamentally it denotes establishing a new household, with the marital relationship becoming the primary human relationship. 1. Priority Shift – The newly married couple takes on a new identity as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This reshapes emotional, financial, and decision-making priorities, as the unity between husband and wife comes before all other earthly ties. 2. Healthy Boundaries – “Leaving” also involves setting respectful boundaries that underscore the couple’s independence. While parental counsel can still be valuable, husbands and wives function as the heads of their own household, making decisions together. Cleaving “Cleaving” or “being united” (Genesis 2:24) points to steadfast loyalty, faithfulness, and a deep bond between spouses. It conveys the gravity of marriage as a covenant before God. 1. Union and Intimacy – Cleaving is more than physical union; it involves spiritual and emotional intimacy. Ephesians 5:31 highlights that the couple becomes “one flesh,” implying a weaving together of lives that prompts sacrificial love and mutual devotion. 2. Indissoluble Bond – This term underscores permanence. Scriptures emphasize that marriage is designed as a lifelong commitment (Matthew 19:6). Cleaving includes walking through difficulties as well as joys, reflecting God’s own faithful nature toward His people. Honoring While leaving is essential for forming a new family, Scripture consistently commands believers to honor their parents. “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12) is foundational among the Ten Commandments and is also repeated in the New Testament (Ephesians 6:2). 1. Continuing Respect – Honor implies respecting the wisdom, sacrifice, and God-given authority of parents—even when the new family unit is established. This biblical command clarifies that “leaving” does not signal a disrespectful disregard for one’s parents, but rather a realignment of priorities while maintaining reverence for the influence and role of one’s family of origin. 2. Practical Expressions – Honoring parents can include providing care if needed, speaking well of them, and, where appropriate, seeking their counsel. The form this takes will vary depending on each family’s situation, but the attitude behind it remains consistent: loving and respecting them as God’s agents in one’s upbringing. Practical Implications 1. Marital Unity – When spouses mutually “leave” parents to cleave to each other, they foster deeper harmony, free from interference that might undermine the marital bond. This unity often contributes to stability, healthier communication, and a clear sense of shared identity. 2. Ongoing Family Relationships – Balancing the new household’s independence with the call to honor parents can be delicate. Couples may visit, communicate, and help their parents in ways that respect the boundaries of the new family unit while preserving deference to parental roles. 3. Modeling for Future Generations – By living out the biblical injunction to form a strong marriage bond while retaining respect for parents, believers provide an example for children and others in the community. This influence can encourage success in marriage and consistent values across generations. Concluding Thoughts “Leave, cleave, and honor” encapsulates a key design for marriage and family. The Scriptures, reliably transmitted and confirmed through a vast body of ancient manuscripts, emphasize this threefold principle to guide believers in balancing marital priorities with reverence for parents. While marriage forms a new foundational bond, honor remains a divine command that uplifts parents’ rightful place. This biblical perspective, preserved in consistent manuscript tradition and taught from Genesis through the New Testament, gives a holistic framework that strengthens marriages and family ties. By embracing these principles, believers live out a God-given pattern that fosters love, unity, and enduring respect in marriage and beyond. |
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