What does the Bible say about marrying an alcoholic?

Understanding the Nature of the Challenge

Marrying someone who struggles with alcoholism involves complexities that touch on personal well-being, spiritual harmony, and shared life goals. While the Scriptures do not explicitly mention modern terminology such as “alcoholism,” they address drunkenness, addiction, self-control, and the importance of unity in marriage. These principles can guide those considering whether to pursue or continue a commitment when one individual wrestles with an addiction to alcohol.

Biblical Foundations on Drunkenness

Scripture repeatedly warns against the dangers of excessive drinking. In Ephesians 5:18, it says: “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to reckless indiscretion. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” This exhortation underscores that losing control through alcohol can draw a person away from the direction of the Holy Spirit. Another passage, Proverbs 20:1, notes: “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by them is not wise.”

Drunkenness is shown to promote destructive behaviors and bring potential harm to family and community relationships. In 1 Corinthians 6:9–10, drunkenness is listed among behaviors that damage overall fellowship with God. These verses highlight that surrender to any addiction may hinder spiritual growth and disrupt harmony in a household.

Marriage as a Sacred Covenant

Marriage is portrayed throughout Scripture as a sacred covenant intended for mutual support, love, and growth in godliness. Jesus quotes Genesis when describing this covenant: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh” (Mark 10:7–8). The union of marriage relies on both individuals striving toward unity of spirit, purpose, and devotion to God.

Chronic drunkenness can undermine the unity that marriage requires. When one partner consistently struggles with overuse of alcohol, the very bond meant to reflect cooperation and love may instead be tested by destructive behaviors, financial or emotional strain, and disruption to family leadership or stability.

Unequally Yoked Concerns

Another significant principle emerges in 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?” Though this verse principally addresses spiritual disparity, it extends to situations where ongoing sin or addiction threatens the unity of belief and practice.

If someone’s addiction keeps them in continuous rebellion against God’s pattern for a healthy life, it may indicate a lack of repentance or unwillingness to align with biblical truth. Marrying into such a situation can place an enormous strain on spiritual growth. The direction in this passage suggests the importance of shared convictions and mutual dedication to the Lord as a foundation in marriage.

Hope for Transformation

In James 5:16, the faithful are encouraged to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed.” There is scriptural hope for those who wish to change. Transformation is possible through genuine repentance, spiritual counsel, practical accountability, and support from the believing community.

Stories abound of individuals who overcame alcohol dependence through prayer, mentoring programs, counseling, and the gospel's power. As an example, outside research on addiction recovery consistently shows that committed spiritual networks can be vital in helping people find stability. Historical accounts and modern anecdotes also present testimonies of marriages that survived and thrived once the addicted partner embraced accountability and genuine change.

Biblical Counsel on Entering Marriage

1. Discern Readiness: Before entering any marriage, the question of spiritual maturity and readiness is vital. A potential spouse’s consistent track record of drunkenness can signal a pattern that is not yet surrendered to God. Discern whether the person has taken visible, active steps to address the addiction.

2. Seek Wisdom and Godly Counsel: Proverbs 15:22 reads: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Prayerfully consult pastors, mentors, and fellow believers. Consider professional or pastoral counseling to assist in clarifying the severity of the addiction and to explore whether it has been genuinely addressed.

3. Observe Fruit of Repentance: Luke 3:8 speaks of producing “fruit worthy of repentance”—that is, genuine evidence of change. If there is no sincere transformation or if destructive behaviors remain, a decision to marry may result in future hardship. A pattern of reliability, spiritual growth, and accountability measures—such as regularly attending addiction recovery groups—can be signs of genuine change.

4. Avoid Rushed Decisions: Many biblical narratives remind readers not to make rushed, emotional choices. Ecclesiastes 7:8 states: “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and a patient spirit is better than a proud one.” Patience in discerning character and seeing how consistently someone remains sober and committed to growth can save heartbreak and challenges later.

Support Within Marriage to an Addicted Spouse

For those already in a marriage with someone struggling with alcoholism, Scripture guides believers toward prayer, wise boundaries, and seeking help:

• Intercessory Prayer: James 5:15–16 highlights that prayer offered in faith can bring healing. Couples may turn to God together, or the non-addicted spouse can intercede.

• Biblical Encouragement: While one cannot force another person’s heart to change, offering loving admonition remains biblical. Galatians 6:1 advises restoring those caught in transgression “in a spirit of gentleness.”

• Building a Support Network: Engaging in faithful community, pastoral care, and professionally advised programs can be part of pursuing healing.

At the same time, if destructive behavior endangers the spouse or children, seeking professional guidance and safety become immediate priorities. Pastoral counsel and appropriate intervention can help ensure well-being, even as one prays for the alcoholic spouse’s transformation.

Practical Considerations and Love

Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” emphasizing sacrificial love. Likewise, spouses are called to love, respect, and nurture one another (Ephesians 5:33). Where a person’s addiction consistently undermines love and respect, biblical principles suggest addressing the matter thoroughly before making the lasting covenant of marriage.

If the person struggling with alcohol is genuinely seeking help, demonstrating repentance, and committed to faith-based transformation, love can motivate patience and compassion. But it should never disregard the biblical wisdom of ensuring that both parties can faithfully carry out the spiritual and relational responsibilities of marriage.

Conclusion

The Bible’s teachings on drunkenness, holiness, and marital unity collectively point to caution when considering marriage to someone with an unresolved addiction to alcohol. The biblical focus on holiness, spiritual partnership, and living in alignment with God’s ways underscores the seriousness of this decision. At the same time, Scripture also testifies to the hope of restoration, the possibility of repentance, and the healing power of faith in God.

Anyone contemplating this important step would do well to seek counsel, pray for wisdom, observe a future spouse’s actions over time, and discern whether genuine transformation is underway. For those already in such a marriage, supportive prayer, wise boundaries, and a faithful Christian community can play a pivotal role in fostering spiritual and emotional healing. Above all, Scripture calls believers to love one another through God’s grace, trusting that true change and redemption are possible when individuals yield their lives to the Lord.