What does the Bible say about sexless marriage?

Biblical Foundation for Marital Intimacy

From the earliest chapters, Scripture presents marriage as a covenantal union intended for companionship, mutual support, and fruitfulness. After the creation of man and woman, the text states: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This foundational concept includes both emotional and physical closeness.

Throughout the biblical narrative, marriage is shown as a place where both husband and wife experience a bonded partnership reflecting deeper spiritual truths. The “one flesh” principle carries connotations of unity, fidelity, and the shared life of two individuals inextricably joined, pointing strongly to physical intimacy as part of God’s design.

Meaning and Purpose of Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy serves several important purposes. First, it unifies spouses. By reflecting the “one flesh” idea, married couples physically and emotionally reinforce their covenant in a way no other relationship can. Second, it aids in procreation. After creating humankind, God blessed them by saying: “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). While having children is not the exclusive purpose of intimacy, it demonstrates divine design for families and the perpetuation of life.

Third, Scripture also presents sexual intimacy as pleasurable (see Song of Songs), encouraging both spouses to foster mutual delight in one another. This dimension is not merely physical; it involves trust, care, and honoring one another’s personhood. Such enjoyment for both partners is validated and even celebratory.

Biblical Counsel on Conjugal Rights

The clearest New Testament passage on marital intimacy instructs, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife. Do not deprive one another, except by mutual consent for a time…” (1 Corinthians 7:3–5).

This teaching highlights several moral principles. First, intimacy is considered a mutual “duty,” implying it is neither to be neglected nor withheld as a form of control. Second, Paul’s assertion that spouses share authority over each other’s bodies stresses the partnership aspect of marriage. Third, the clause “except by mutual consent” makes clear that short seasons of abstinence (e.g., for prayer or health reasons) are acceptable, but the arrangement should be temporary.

Concerns Regarding a Sexless Marriage

A marriage that remains indefinitely sexless raises concerns because it breaks from God’s intended design. This can lead to emotional distance and temptation, as Paul notes when he says, “Then come together again, so that Satan will not tempt you through your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5). When spouses deprive each other, various difficulties may arise, including resentment, loneliness, or a strained spiritual life.

Not every situation is the same. Biblical teaching and historic Christian thought acknowledge genuine obstacles—health complications, emotional trauma, or other specific challenges—that can make sexual relations difficult or temporarily impossible. Yet even in such times, Scripture encourages the couple’s faithful commitment to love, understanding, and sacrificial care for one another (Ephesians 5:25–28).

Possible Root Issues and Pastoral Guidance

When sexlessness is not by mutual agreement or due to uncontrollable circumstances, it can signal deeper marital fractures. Behavioral research and pastoral counseling alike underscore that unresolved disputes, bitterness, and unmet emotional needs may manifest as avoidance of intimacy. Addressing these concerns often requires honest dialogue, prayer, and sometimes professional help.

Church and community support—including counsel from trained pastors or Christian therapists—can help couples navigate complex challenges. In some instances, healing from past emotional or psychological hurts is necessary. Scripture encourages believers to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2), reminding the faith community to come alongside couples struggling in silence.

Scriptural Precedents and Special Cases

Although Scripture does not highlight specific characters described as permanently sexless in marriage, there are notable situations illustrating limited or delayed intimacy. Joseph “did not have relations with [Mary] until she gave birth to a Son” (Matthew 1:25), indicating that during her pregnancy, physical intimacy was temporarily postponed. In cases of old age or certain infirmities, as with Abraham and Sarah, their situation with childbearing was initially impossible from a human standpoint (Genesis 18:11–14), yet they continued in faith, trusting God’s plan.

Such examples show that while sexual intimacy is part of God’s design, the timing and circumstances can vary. These stories do not depict a permanently sexless arrangement but rather unique periods where normal intimacy was delayed or altered.

Practical Encouragement and Restoration

If spouses encounter sexlessness in their relationship, Scripture’s emphasis on unity, sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:2), and respectful communication provides hope for restoration. Couples are encouraged to examine motives, forgive past wrongs, and seek practical steps that restore intimacy. This may involve medical evaluation, counseling, spiritual mentorship, and heartfelt prayer.

Using both biblical wisdom and the insights gained from responsible scientific inquiry, believers can address emotional and physical barriers. Historical Christian communities have long affirmed that the spiritual dimension of marriage includes addressing the body’s needs with compassion, patience, and understanding.

Underlying Purpose: Glorifying God

Ultimately, the marriage relationship, with its call to oneness, reflects the union based on covenant love. As each spouse serves and honors the other, the marriage itself becomes a testimony of God’s faithfulness. Romans 12:10 entreats believers to “be devoted to one another in brotherly love,” a principle that can only flourish when husband and wife pursue physical, emotional, and spiritual harmony.

When sexual intimacy is neglected, part of the joy and design of God’s plan for marriage is missing. The path forward involves prayerful honesty, humble self-examination, and a willingness to seek reconciliation and deeper unity. In so doing, couples not only strengthen their bond but also further their ultimate purpose of bringing glory to God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Conclusion

Scripture consistently upholds the beauty and importance of sexual intimacy within marriage. A lengthy or permanent absence of intimacy, unless necessitated by unusual circumstances and agreed upon mutually for a limited time, may lead to spiritual and emotional challenges. While real-world issues—such as medical conditions or psychological factors—can modify how this design looks in practice, biblical teaching urges couples toward unity, openness, and care.

Seeking reconciliation, assistance from trustworthy Christian counselors, and prayerful dependence on God can bring renewed closeness. By honoring one another in this area, husbands and wives honor the Creator who established marriage as a foundational bond for their good and His glory.