When first Thou didst entice to Thee my heart, I thought the service brave So many joys I writ down for my part, Besides what I might have Out of my stock of natural delights, Augmented with Thy gracious benefits. What pleasures could I want, whose King I served, Where joys my fellows were? Thus argued into hopes, my thoughts reserved No place for grief or fear; Therefore my sudden soul caught at the place, And made her youth and fierceness seek Thy face. At first Thou gav'st me milk and sweetnesses; I had my wish and way; My days were strew'd with flowers and happiness; There was no month but May. But with my years sorrow did twist and grow, And made a party unawares for woe. [23]My flesh began unto my soul in pain, Sicknesses cleave my bones, Consuming agues dwell in every vein, And tune my breath to groans: Sorrow was all my soul; I scarce believed, Till grief did tell me roundly, that I lived. When I got health, Thou took'st away my life And more -- for my friends die: My mirth and edge was lost, a blunted knife Was of more use than I: Thus, thin and lean, without a fence or friend, I was blown through with every storm and wind. Yet, lest perchance I should too happy be In my unhappiness, Turning my purge to food, Thou throwest me Into more sicknesses. Thus doth Thy power [24]cross-bias me, not making Thine own gift good, yet me from my ways taking. Now I am here, what Thou wilt do with me None of my books will show; I read, and sigh, and wish I were a tree -- For sure, then, I should grow To fruit or shade; at least, some bird would trust Her household to me, and I should be just. Yet, though Thou troublest me, I must be meek; In weakness must be stout. Well, I will change the service, and go seek Some other master out, Ah, my dear GOD, though I am clean forgot, Let me not love Thee, if I love Thee not. Footnotes: [56] See Note |